by Christina Hubbard
The road of good enough singles out a girl’s soul. She may question everything: who she is, where she came from, where she’s going, and all the inbetweens. The proving, fighting, and wondering if this moment, her very existence really matters. What a journey she trudges.
This is not an expedition for fainting hearts, yet all creatives suffer its pitfalls. We wrestle with worth. We beg for affirmation. We long to be known and delighted in.
What I have discovered is my need to be seen and to make something good is, inheritantly, based on a pure desire to be loved from the inside out. Your voices chiming in with this creative cry for God to inhabit our potholes, tired feet, our very lives shout: “We have become the road. He travels us.” We don’t have to wander. We discover who we are in the laying down of ourselves and everything we want.
Love from a Fellow Creative
There’s nothing like finding yourself curled up in a ball in the corner of the couch covered in snot and tears to confirm you’re on the right path. Somehow, I regularly find myself there, usually before I hit publish on a particularly vulnerable post or release a new video into the world. I used to hate myself for this, seeing it as weakness, not-enoughness, I’m-not-cut-out-for-this-ness. But the Holy Spirit’s been kindly reassuring me that this what growth looks like. Steven Pressfield’s War of Art has been a welcome slap in the face:
“Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”
So I wipe the tears away, hit publish, do a dance, and then start on the next thing.
And so can you.
—Caroline, yoga teacher & Instagram captioner. CarolineWilliamsYoga.com
And how blessed all those in whom you [GOD] live, whose lives become roads you travel; They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks, discover cool springs and pools brimming with rain! God-traveled, these roads curve up the mountain, and at the last turn—Zion! God in full view! —Psalm 84:5-7 MSG